There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.
“When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she’s ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn’t care what time I came home.”
One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she’s ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he’s home so late.
“Hey, why aren’t you sleeping?” he asks.
“I was was, but I came in to tell you that we’ve got to sleep on the couch tonight, ’cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom.”
Once upon a time John, and Pamela lived in canada. His mother Jessica from America came to visit and she suspects of a relationship between the two, and this had onlymade her more curious.
Reading his mom’s thoughts, John volunteered,”I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Pamela and I are just roommates.”
Than about 3 days later Jessica heads back to America.
About 4 days later, Pamela came to John saying,”Ever since your mother left, I’ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don’t suppose she took it do you?”
“Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.” So he sat down and wrote:
I’m not saying that you “did” take the sugar bowl from my house,I’m not saying that you “did not” take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you left back to America.
Several days later, Joe received an email from his mother which
I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Pamela, and I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.